That night the world ended. Time crashed together. Sleeping, waking, living, death; it all seemed the same to me now. The only difference was that waking and living was painful, so painful. I want to sleep, drift into my dreams. Drift away from life, blur the time together, faster, faster; escape the world I’m in. Don’t let in the light, don’t live in life. Stay in dreams, stay in the dark, where it’s safe. Where I can still see you and be with you. I miss you, you know. I loved you, you know. I can’t find you, where did you go? Only in my dreams do I see your face. All other faces are blurs. I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to be near those smiles and laughs. Time goes on, but not quick enough. When will it end? When will I fall asleep and remain in darkness by your side? Why won’t the pain go away?

Waking, light, so painful. Why do I have to go to school? Crowds pushing on me, staring. They don’t know me by my name anymore. A rumor, a shadow, someone to be pitied. That’s who I am now. The same question asked again and again: Are you okay? Are you okay? Please, please, leave me alone. There’s only one person I want to see. Why can’t I go home? Why can’t I fall asleep into my dreams? Why can’t I see you again? Why did you leave?

Floating through the crowds, through the featureless faces, through time. Tick, tock, tick, tock. It’s not fast enough. The stares, the pity, the pain: I have to get out of here. Running, running, running, I have to escape.

“Stop.” The people around me, frozen in time. The whole world turned gray. Except you.
Your face is the same as I remember it, the same in my locket. Smooth, pale skin, and dark eyes that might have been blue, that kept secrets, held mischief. Dark, ink colored hair, the same as your eyes, framing an angels face. But your clothes are different. The last time I saw you, you were dressed in a suit, something that you’ve never worn. You’re in your regular clothes now. Black turtleneck with a thick short-sleeved denim jacket. Tight blue jeans and black high tops. A studded belt around your waist. You held your hand out to me.
“You left me,” I whispered. “You promised you would come back, you promised you would be with me forever.”
You looked sad, and you pulled back your hand.
“I’m sorry.” Your voice like velvet. “I didn’t mean to, I tried to come back, I tried.”
“You left me!” I yelled. “Left me alone! I’m all alone! Just a shadow, a rumor, the poor girl who’s love of her life…” I choked, couldn’t finish my sentence.
Your arms wrapped around me. You were so warm, just like before. Not cold like the last time I saw you. The tears came then. Fast, flowing, like the time. Your hand rubbed my back.
“You need to pull out,” you said. “You’re in too deep.”
“No,” I moaned. “I want to stay with you, I want to be with you.”
“I’m always with you,” you said. Liar. I know you’re a liar.
“Please,” you said. You turned me to face you. “Please, please pull out. I don’t want to lose you.”
“It’s not fair, I already lost you,” I whispered.
“You never lost me. I never left. I’ve been here always, watching over you.”
Color started to seep back into the world. A low hum gathered in the air.
“No!” I shouted. I gripped you fiercely, hugging you tight. “Don’t go, don’t leave me again!”
You held me tight, but your strength was fading. People were starting to move. “I love you,” you said. Then you were gone.

Darkness, light, life, death; time flowing endlessly. Pain, it hurts. Why won’t the darkness stay?
At school, walking down the hall, gazing at nothing. But then, a spark, shock, love. A denim jacket, a flip of black hair, turning the corner. I ran. Tick, tock, tick, tock. I will not lose you this time. I burst out of the doors, into the cold sun. The sky is overcast, with rays of light peeking shyly through. You’re gone. Again. I’ve lost you again.
A rough voice. In a tree, a crow, stared down at me. It has your eyes, it has your hair. It lifted its wings and flew up into the air, towards the clouds and shafts of light, and then it was gone.